Era Belle Zavala

Mama, Christmas is upon us now and your passing has been 2 years now, but to me it seems like only yesterday that you left this world behind.The loss is still fresh to me and the hurt is still so tender. My heart and my spirit are heavy. The christmas lights seem to have lost some of there joy, The shopping has been hard for me and i find it difficult to stay focused, i find myself looking at mothers and daughters laughing together and shopping together and i feel resentment that they have there mothers, but i catch myself because i know those feelings are wrong, that is not trusting in god. and then i begin to think of the christmas you will have, what a wonderful sight heaven must be on christmas, a celebration beyond earthly imagination.you must be feeling such peace at these sights you see in heaven. i know my feelings are selfish because those feelings are about me feeling the loss of you. I will celebrate christmas because the reason for the season is the birth of christ and because of him your celebrating the most glorious christmas ever. I was thinking the other day if i could get you a gift and give it to you what would it be, but i came up with nothing because angels are perfect and need nothing, you have sunsets, sunrises, rainbows and spring flowers, you have streets paved of gold, i even thought of pictures of me and the kids, but nothing could compare to looking in the face of jesus, so i send you my tears, and my heart, and i keep for myself the memories. i will be watching for the sunsets and listening for the windchimes and i'll know your close by. I love you My mama my angel and i miss you so very much. Your Daughter, Angie.

Happy Birthday sister and i love you very much.I wish you were here so i could make you something pretty for you but im sure in heaven they are prettier than i could give you.I miss you very very much.Wish you were here with me but your not sick anymore and you have a new body thats not sick.I'll see you on the other side,love you from my heart and miss you,Love You Forever Your Big Sister,Linda Sue:)

Mama, Happy Birthday,are you celebrating in Heaven? Tell me how it feels not to hurt anymore,that's something I've never heard you say.I wish I could see you Mama,right here looking at me with your blue eyes.I hope I'll see you in Heaven one day.Just think Mama, you'll never get any older than you were. I remeber when i was a little girl and i would ask you on your birthday how old you were and your response every year was "30", you had me a little confused untill i was old enough to know that you just din't want to be considered old, later on in the years you accepted getting older because you knew another birthday meant that you was still alive here on earth. Here in my heart I hear your voice,see your eyes and smile myself when I remember your smile and your laugh.I miss you Mama, I'm so glad I always tried to tell you and show you that I loved you. In all reality, No matter how much you try to prepare yourself for the passing of a parent, no matter how much you reherse all the well thought out responses to kind and thoughtful words of sympathy, no matter how well you understand that pain and loneliness is soon to be replaced with eternal peace, you are never really prepared. Death definatley gives life its fullest reality . I'll be all right in time,as a good friend once told me 'to everything there is a season'.Happy birthday Mama , I love and miss you, there will forever be an empty place in our hearts. R.I.P. August 30th, 1950 - March 20th, 2008.

Mama, It's been a year now that you've been gone. A year that i havent heard your comforting voice and seen your beautiful face. I wish so much to feel your arms around me in only a hug a mama can give, i want all of this so much. I feel like you were taken away from us much to soon, I was not ready to let you go and i know that you wasnt ready to leave us behind eithier. Mama, i am so sorry that this has happened to you. As much as i hurt from losing you, i hurt even more that you had to go through this and that you suffered so much pain and fought so hard just to die anyway. I know you were scared, i could see it, especially those last few minutes, i was also scared with you and for you. Mama, I have so many questions for you, Are you happy now? Can you hear me? Can you see me? Is it beautiful in heaven? I need so much to know that your ok, you were so scared when you left us, saying "jesus help me", you din't want to go, you fought so hard. I hope its comforting and beautiful in heaven, I hope that you are not scared anymore, I hope that all of your pain is gone, I hope that you can hear me when i tell you how much I love you and miss you every night. I hope you can give me some guidance and strength to get me through this and to know just what to do. Do you know how much i wish you was here with me? I need you so much right now, there is so much going on with Christian,he needs you to , he is still grieving so much for you. I always turned to you for advice and support, you was my rock. I love you more than words can ever express and miss you so so much.

Dear Mama, There are so many things that I am thankful for and I wanted to write this letter to let you know. I am grateful to have had a mother like you who loved me unconditionally, with compassion, hope, and gentle kindness. You really knew how to see the special side of life, and you were able to find beauty in the most unusual things and places. You never hesitated to share these things with me. You took time to savor our special moments together, whether it was having breakfast together early in the morning,or shopping for far to many things on QVC, or just watching our favorite reality shows on tv at night. You made life extra special for me every chance you had, celebrating milestones and achievements, always teaching me lessons in your own special way when I chose the wrong path. I am most grateful for your ultimate gift. You gave me in spades , you instilled in me love and hope through god . Now, no matter what obstacle faces me, hope comes naturally. I know you are watching over me, I feel your presence every day, and the intuitive wisdom I rely upon so strongly is really your spirit guiding me through the journey of life. Your love lives within me, and the ability to have hope is a gift that I will cherish and be thankful for every day of my life.I will take all my memories, all my mental snap shots, and all the lessons you taught me and keep you here with me - in my mind. You were my Mama- you were beautiful and spiritual. I am eternally grateful to have had you as my mother and my friend.

To my loving aunt Belle,although your not here with me on earth with me i will always carry you in my heart and thoughts.I can feel your close to me each and everyday telling me to listen Susie listen to what the doctors tell you and get better.Aunt belle i carry those last words with me in my heart and will always remeber them .Aunt i will always remember your deep blue eyes and all the kind things you did for me and all our family and im so blessed to have you as my Aunt Belle.I will always love you Aunt Belle and i miss your laughter,cooking,caring and loving warmth you gave me althrough my chilhood and as an adult.I would love to rub your back and your legs again and i hope i get that chance when i see you in heaven one day.I LOVE YOU AUNT BELLE.

NANA, you were the best.. i used to love to clean 4 you!!!! i allways loved to read the bible with you. and even just sitting around talking together wuz soooo fun! we got along very well. theres not one bad thing that i could say about you! and i loved your cooking... i will allways love, adore, and miss you very much!!!

Era was a very special lady, I have know Angie since she was 16 years old a young little wild girl, I took her under my wing and helped her soar. Era never had a bad thing to say about anyone. She was always friendly and never let her pain show. She will be missed by all who touched her heart and sole. Angie I am here for you call me whenever. Our mom's are together talking about how unruly we were as young teenagers! You know that must be a good conversation. One day we will all be together again. Keep her in your heart as will everyone else. I know the pain you are feeling. Let me help you through.. God bless and I love you!

Mama, you mean the world to me It's hard to live without you You were always by my side Through thick and thin you helped me Now when you're gone my life is hard to live It's hard to breath It's hard to see And it's hard to think about anything but you. Even though your love will shine in me Forever, it's still hard not to look for your hand to hold. Even though your not here with me in the Flesh, I still have you in my heart and in my memories.I miss you so much and I love you forever mama.